Brooke‘s pool party continues this week (check out some pics of the party here), and the tension is sort of like a “which came first?” scenario. Was Draya annoyed because Jackie pulled out her tennis shoes, thus signifying that she was ready to fight, or was Draya giving off a fighting vibe that led Jackie to put the shoes on in the first place? We’ll never know, but what we do know is that they were both annoyed that the other was there. But since Draya is self-aware and not totally mean, when she pulls out a bunch of cigars to hand out, she gives one to Jackie, who mistakes it for a peace offering. Or at least an “I won’t kick your a–” offering.
Draya explains she just didn’t want to not give everyone one, saying “Here’s a cigar, b—h. Smoke that.”
Finally, the meeting of Brooke and Bambi occurs. The two ladies have has the longest-running unseen beef in the history of this show, we’ve heard about how they don’t like each other since day one, but tonight is the first time we’ve actually seen them together to discuss their beef.
Malaysia brings Brooke over to Bambi, and since it’s Brooke’s party, she starts to lay things out. “I just wanted to get straight like, are we gon’ fistfight? Like, whatever it’s gonna be, let’s just go ahead and get it done.” Bambi agrees. “I feel like Brooke is trying really hard to just squash the beef and the tension and to just move forward.”
Well that seems to have worked out? I guess? The issue is left so that no one is going to take any swings right now, but their future is not clear and it may not be all puppies and rainbows.
For some reason, Jackie sees Draya sitting alone and assumes that it’s because Draya is sad, so she goes over to have a talk.
Jackie professes her adoration for Draya and tells her that everything that’s been done in the past has been done with humor, which isn’t really an apology, although I guess it explains that Jackie really did mean no harm by pulling out that sucker, however, it’s hard to find the hilarity in saying someone is a ho a dozen times. But Draya accepts what Jackie has to say and tells her “Thank you very much, that’s very big of you.” Again, no puppies and rainbows in their future, but no WWE Smackdown either.
After the pool party, Ziggy Stardust, a.k.a. Laura, meets with Bambi to clear the air because Laura feels like Bambi still might not trust her.
Bambi is wary because “where I’m from, if you say you wanna meet me in the park, straight up, we gonna fight.” Laura doesn’t want to fight though, she wants to tell Bambi where she stands with everyone and why she speaks about Jackie the way that she does, which is Bambi’s problem withher, she doesn’t see any loyalty in Laura and that gives her bad feelings.
“So look. Jackie. From my point of view, there is no relationship with her,” she tells Bambi. “Look at this woman. She’s a class clown. I don’t take her seriously, I don’t give a f— what she thinks about me.” Bambi’s response: “I just think like, you are a lil’ bully.”
“Yes,” Bambi says, “you gotta chill.”
“No, YOU gotta chill,” Laura says, getting really angry. Bambi wants to know why then, does Laura lead Jackie on, accept the title of maid of honor at her wedding and generally act fake if she’s not actually interested in hanging out with her. Laura explains that she doesn’t want to hurt Jackie’s feelings but that there’s really no issue here that Bambi needs to concern herself with. If Bambi thinks Laura’s fake, she doesn’t have to kick it with her. “Okay, we’re done,” Bambi says as she walks away. There will be no kicking it between these two.
Laura feels bad though and chases after Bambi, not because she’s upset that Bambi doesn’t want to hang, but because Bambi doesn’t really know why Laura feels a certain way about Jackie. Bambi doesn’t know Jackie like Laura does, and what Bambi sees as fake, Laura doesn’t.
Bambi tells Draya and Malaysia how things went down at the park with Laura explaining “She likes to pick on people, and I don’t like that.” Malaysia canNOT get over this, because in her world, “Meet me at the park means ‘I want to fight.’”
She’s mad as hell about this park thing and doesn’t even think for a second that to most other people, meet me at the park means…meet me at the park.
Eventually the conversation turned from fighting to loving. Malaysia explains that Draya and Bambi decided to try and shock her with their potty mouths and make her uncomfortable, so Malaysia decided to take things further by having the two kiss. “Y’all wanna play games?” she asks. “Kiss her.” And they sure go for it.
“For them two to be tonguin’ it up…ugh, get a room.” Hey girl, you asked for it.
For someone who has no relationship with Jackie, Laura takes a hike with her anyway to talk about Brooke’s pool party.
Jackie was talking about some weirdness she felt with Malaysia, and then Laura explained that she has weirdness of her own with Bambi and how Bambi thinks Lauras a bully. But as Jackie says “She was mumbling a little on why Bambi said it,” and she doesn’t realize that it’s because she’s the bullying victim, in Bambi’s eyes, and yet she has no idea. “I think Laura knows she can’t bully me, and if she did, I’d stop her dead in her f—ing tracks immediately,” Jackie says. She’s no victim.
Jackie asks Laura to go with her to Washington to help her clean out some old clothes and things she has in storage, something a friend asks a friend, and Laura says there’s no way in hell she’s going by herself so she plans to rope some of the other girls in to go too.
Jackie is going to Seattle to see her daughter, clean out her storage, and deal with her mother’s passing — she hasn’t been back there since her mother died, and she wants to visit her grave but she’s not sure she’s ready. It’s going to be an emotional trip.
Laura gets the girls together to attend a mixology class for a fun, alcohol-fueled hang session. All the girls (minus Draya) are there, and Brooke has plans to talk to Malaysia, because she’s annoyed by the way Malaysia handled the phone call invite to the pool party last week. When Brooke tells Malaysis she wants to talk, Malaysia basically turns her back and walks away, she’s not in the mood.
Not sure why Brooke is doing this here and now, but she tells Malaysia she was upset about the call and the way Malaysia made her feel like she was the butt of a joke. Malaysia explains that she didn’t mean anything by it, but just in case, so that Brooke knows what’s up, Bambi stands up, ready to fight if necessary.
Once Malaysia explains herself, Brooke realizes “I might have had Malaysia pegged for the wrong person,” and accepts that she wasn’t being antagonized after all. All is well for four seconds, until Draya walks in and she’s in full-on Jackie gear.
“Draya is dressed as me,” Jackie says. It’s…flattering? Cough.
“I have my crinkly, curly, wet look hair that she wears, I got my iPad cheetah case cover, I got my liquor in a water bottle, I’m just Jackie. I’m Jackie’d out,” Draya says.
Jackie’s not going to take this sitting down, so she goes to the bathroom to “strip down” to her Draya look and reciprocate.
Jackie and Draya take some time to play each other in character and throw some jabs at one another, and it’s funny-slash-super uncomfortable, but things go seriously south when Jackie, pretending to be Draya, mocks Brooke for not getting a magazine cover. Jackie issues a sarcastic apology for going too far but then pulled some pepper spray out of her bag (just in case?) and that makes Brooke even more upset and angry. “The situation went hella crazy after that,” Malaysia says. The poor mixology instructor has no idea what’s going on.
Brooke and Jackie get in each others’ faces and are ready to fight, and even though they threaten each other, hilariously, Jackie rationalizes that they need to think about jail before they throw any punches. “I don’t gotta think about nothing,” Brooke yells, “I got bail money at the end of the day!”
The fight itself has no substance, it’s not even about the jab that Jackie took at Brooke and the magazine cover, as Bambi says, it’s all about “what ifs”: What IF I took a swing or tried to come at you or whatever it is they would do, hypothetically.
And then things go from hypothetical to real and the two go at it and the next thing we see are the two ladies being pulled off of each other and Jackie screaming at Brooke “Bring your fat a–s in here you big-butted b—h, with your f—ing injections and s—. You better go!”
That would have been a great time to end this conflict-filled episode, but we have one more dramatic Jackie test to endure. She finally gets up to Seattle, and since her relationships with her two daughters have been strained lately, she decides to ambush them with a family therapist, something they’ve told her they’re unwilling to do. But dammit, Jackie’s doin’ it!
But just how they react when they find out they’re being forcefully family-counseled will have to wait till next time…
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